苦艾酒外傳 - 英雄有夢篇

如同國父革命，在經過一次又一次的失敗後，教主終於在台北找到正港草本提煉的苦艾酒了。La Maison Fontaine，意為湧泉之屋，是一家位於瑞法邊界的蒸餾廠。共有三款產品，無色，綠色，與巧克力口味。無色，綠色兩款均是純正高級貨色。巧克力口味則為調和過的甜味利口酒，應該是主攻調酒市場的產品。

根據網路上苦艾酒達人所提供的情報，無色款的風味絕佳，是此道中的佼佼者。綠色款的評測不多，教主只有找到兩個。其評價雖不若無色款那麼一面倒，不過看來也是品質極優的Ａ貨。於是，教主毫不猶豫的把腳踏車給當了，無色與綠色各買一瓶。由於無色款的佳評如潮，所以教主先把它拿來當試驗品，，當作日後評價這類產品的一個標竿。

苦艾酒 - 烈火燒方糖的究極奧義

話說在遙遠的未來，美國，日本，台灣合資搞了一個計畫。內容是，三國各派出一個太空人，一起在太空站待一年，各自做與自家國情有重大關係的研究。

美國人帶了三個閣樓等級的ＵＫＬＭ，準備好好研究出更多生孩子的方式。日本人帶了一大袋上好茶葉，準備讓茶道的技術更上層樓。台灣人帶了一大包香菸，準備用未來的一年研究出更多酷斃的抽菸方法。一年後，三人回來了。

美國人走下太空船，喜孜孜的秀出三個可愛的嬰兒，道：「我們研究出了九九八十一種新的姿勢，成效斐然。」

日本人端出了一杯茶，傲然道：「本人發現了如何泡出比茶裏王更香更濃的茶。」

台灣人滿臉鬱卒，一言不發。記者追問：「逮丸郎，你這一年的研究成果是甚麼？」台灣人恨恨道：「E04！林北忘了帶賴打。」

受到了這個故事的啟發，教主從此了解身上帶打火機的重要性。所以即使沒有抽菸的習慣，教主的口袋裡永遠有一個 Zippo，以備不時之需。終於有一天，它派上用場了。

數年前，在一個月黑風高的夜晚，教主與幾位教友一起在好樂迪引吭高歌，就在唱完教主的主題曲，「七仔」，後，一名剛從東歐出差回國的教友趨身向前，道：「啟稟教主，屬下在番邦取得一瓶神奇之物，還請教主笑納。」言畢便呈上一瓶顏色奇異的烈酒。

Kai Ko's Open Letter To the Public

If I were Kai Ko, I'd load up Microsoft Word and write an open letter. It would go something like this.

Hello, everybody

First of all, I admit it. I smoked some weed while in Beijing. Now, would y'all please chill the f**k out!

Look, man, let's put my "crime" in perspective. Marijuana is not addictive, and it doesn't cause cancer. In contrast, nicotine is more addictive than cocaine, and smoking causes all sorts of respiratory illnesses. But, hey, cigarettes are 100% legal, but weed isn't. Yeah, this makes a lot of sense.

So, while my actions will pretty much disqualify me for sainthood, it's not as if I raped, pillaged, and murdered. And no, I am not a drug fiend like the media is making me out to be. Let's be perfectly clear about this, smoking a joint ain't the same as selling 100 kilos of heroin to school children. I am no Pablo Escobar; I think we can all agree on that.

Granted, the last time I checked, weed is still illegal in China. And certainly, playing cat and mouse with with the cops in a totalitarian state isn't a smart thing to do. Given the string of high profile celebrities being arrested on drug charges recently, I should have known better. But, in my own defense, I have spent TWO FULL WEEKS in a pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Do you know what happens to muffins like me in a place like that? Whatever mistakes I may have made, my debt to society has been repaid in full.

Now, I get it. Y'all want from me a show of contrition. You know what? I have delivered that to you already. Not once. Twice. I don't know how many more times I can do this sh*t. I swear, it's getting harder and harder to shed those tears on cue. A man's tear duct is only so big.

In conclusion, I have learned my lesson. The next time around, if I feel like getting high in Beijing, I'll just down a bottle of L'Or de Jean Martell while puffing away a Cuban Cohiba. I trust my good buddy Jaycee's daddy could easily afford those things. After an hour or so, I'll get smashed just the same. And, if I really feel like smoking a joint, I'll hop on the next flight to Seattle or Amsterdam.

So, from now on, I'd appreciate it if you would just drop this subject. I didn't kill anybody or nothin', so let it go. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Kai Ko

Fujifilm XF1 - The Camera For Your Inner Michael Kelso

Got to play with a Fujifilm XF1 for a few days. Some quick thoughts. Considering that this camera is nearing the end of its product life cycle, this blog posting couldn't come a moment too soon.

[Pros]

• Solid construction. Lovely retro styling. Having one in your hand makes you feel like a Michael Kelso. (Though it must be said that Ashton Kutcher later went on to become a pitchman for Nikon)
• Very unobtrusive, the lens collapses all the way into the body
• Bright and hi-res screen
• Darn respectable image quality. ISO1600 is perfectly usable when the camera's tricky image processing features are enabled (EXR mode in Fujifilm lingo)
• Good spec lens (though max aperture drops fast as the zoom is extended)
• Excellent AF
• Comprehensive manual control, easy to use menu layout
• Class-leading image processor. Auto WB under artificial lighting is unbelievably good
• RAW mode supported, if you are into this sort of thing

羅米娜 - 當九陽真經不太靈光時....

教主自幼習武，自束髮以來即精研各家各派的絕學。經過多年的苦練，其造詣已經達到五花聚頂，爐火純青的境界。

不過平心而論，影響教主最巨的武學秘笈為少林達摩祖師所著的九陽真經。根據倚天屠龍記內的記載，覺遠大師在圓寂前曾背誦出真經的內容，其中最精華的一段為：

「彼不動，己不動，彼微動，己已動。勁似寬而非鬆，將展未展，勁斷意不斷」

自從教主領悟到這個究極奧義後，可以說是打遍天下無敵手。除非是碰上剛猛無倫的北斗爆橘拳，否則教主一向是戰無不勝，攻無不克。